Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Bill Murray
American actor and comedian.
Born September 21st, 1950 in Wilmette.
Going-2-Die™ December 14th, 2025 at 75 years old
Estelle Parsons
American actress.
Born November 20th, 1927 in Marblehead.
Going-2-Die™ December 18th, 2025 at 98 years old
Theodor Meron
Israeli judge and lawyer.
Born April 28th, 1930 in Kalisz.
Going-2-Die™ December 16th, 2025 at 95 years old
Tim Tscharnke
Cross-country skier.
Born December 13th, 1989 in Weißenfels.
Going-2-Die™ December 17th, 2025 at 36 years old
Walter Beerli
Swiss footballer.
Born July 23rd, 1928 in Switzerland.
Going-2-Die™ December 16th, 2025 at 97 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1765665864
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjU2NjU4NjQsImlkcyI6WzQzNzM3OSw2OTkzOSwyNjM0MjEs%0ANjAxMDQzLDc3ODY3XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Tell your friend that in his death, a part of you dies and goes with him. Wherever he goes, you also go. He will not be alone. Jiddu Krishnamurti