Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Gisele Bündchen
Brazilian fashion model.
Born July 20th, 1980 in Brazil, Horizontina.
Going-2-Die™ July 30th, 2026 at 46 years old
Wallace Fard Muhammad
American islamic minister.
Born February 26th, 1877.
Going-2-Die™ July 31st, 2026 at 149 years old
Philipp Mwene
Austrian association football player.
Born January 29th, 1994 in Vienna.
Going-2-Die™ July 31st, 2026 at 32 years old
Lizardo Rodríguez Nue
Peruvian footballer.
Born August 30th, 1910 in Peru.
Going-2-Die™ July 28th, 2026 at 115 years old
Carlos Roselló
Uruguayan basketball player.
Born May 2nd, 1922 in Montevideo.
Going-2-Die™ July 30th, 2026 at 104 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1785178397
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODUxNzgzOTcsImlkcyI6WzM5ODM3MSw2OTI4NTgsNjUzMjE3%0ALDYwMjU4NywxNDg0NDVdfQ%3D%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODUxNzgzOTcsImlkcyI6WzM5ODM3MSw2OTI4NTgsNjUzMjE3%0ALDYwMjU4NywxNDg0NDVdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I could just remember how my father used to say that the reason for living was to get ready to stay dead a long time. William Faulkner