Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
George W. Bush
President of the united states from 2001 to 2009.
Born July 6th, 1946 in New Haven.
Going-2-Die™ July 6th, 2025 at 79 years old
June Squibb
American actress.
Born November 6th, 1929 in Vandalia.
Going-2-Die™ July 8th, 2025 at 95 years old
Julio Le Parc
Argentine painter and sculptor.
Born September 23rd, 1928 in Mendoza. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ July 10th, 2025 at 96 years old
Peter Hirsch
British metallurgist.
Born January 16th, 1925 in Berlin.
Going-2-Die™ July 10th, 2025 at 100 years old
Aleksandr Ivanov
Russian athletics competitor.
Born April 25th, 1993 in Nizhny Tagil.
Going-2-Die™ July 7th, 2025 at 32 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1751759057
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NTE3NTkwNTcsImlkcyI6WzQwMzQyLDQzNzY3OSw0MjEzOCw2%0AMTc0NjYsODA3NjZdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
In my end is my beginning. Mary, Queen of Scots