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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
American actress.
Born April 22nd, 1986 in Austin.
Going-2-Die™ June 10th, 2026 at 40 years old
American lawyer and college administrator.
Born March 22nd, 1930 in Bryn Mawr.
Going-2-Die™ June 9th, 2026 at 96 years old
Belarusian singer, actress and television presenter.
Born September 17th, 2002 in Minsk. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ June 6th, 2026 at 23 years old
Mexican footballer (1928-1996).
Born December 20th, 1928 in Mexico.
Going-2-Die™ June 8th, 2026 at 97 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1780754055
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODA3NTQwNTUsImlkcyI6WzY4Mjg2Niw0MDg1NzAsNTc4NjYs%0ANjQwNTE1LDE0MzY4MV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Whether or not there’s an afterlife, screw it. Just live your life right here right now before it’s too late. Maxime Lagacé