Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Harry Styles
English singer, songwriter, and actor.
Born February 1st, 1994 in Redditch.
Going-2-Die™ November 18th, 2025 at 31 years old
Abigail Cowen
American actress.
Born March 18th, 1998 in Gainesville.
Going-2-Die™ November 19th, 2025 at 27 years old
Michael Michai Kitbunchu
Catholic cardinal.
Born January 25th, 1929 in Sam Phran.
Going-2-Die™ November 18th, 2025 at 96 years old
Halina Birenbaum
Polish-born holocaust survivor, israeli writer, poet, translator and activist (b. 1929).
Born September 15th, 1929 in Warsaw.
Going-2-Die™ November 15th, 2025 at 96 years old
Mario Ghella
Italian cyclist, 1948 olympic gold in individual sprint.
Born June 23rd, 1929 in Chieri.
Going-2-Die™ November 19th, 2025 at 96 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1763192658
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjMxOTI2NTgsImlkcyI6WzQzODEyNiw0MzkxMzksNDM4Njk3%0ALDE1NzM0OSwxNTMxOTNdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t. Richard Bach