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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
English actor, director and producer (born 1962).
Born December 22nd, 1962 in Ipswich.
Going-2-Die™ June 3rd, 2026 at 63 years old
French football manager (born 1970).
Born July 30th, 1970 in Saint-Brieuc.
Going-2-Die™ June 6th, 2026 at 55 years old
Former minister of national defense of china.
Born July 9th, 1929 in Zhaoyuan.
Going-2-Die™ June 4th, 2026 at 96 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1780527802
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODA1Mjc4MDIsImlkcyI6WzQzMTM3Myw0Mzg4MjUsNDMxNzk3%0ALDUyMjUyNiw5NTcyM119%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
All men think that all men are mortal but themselves. Edward Young