Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Christopher Nolan
British-american filmmaker (born 1970).
Born July 30th, 1970 in London.
Going-2-Die™ April 17th, 2026 at 55 years old
Vern Law
American baseball player.
Born March 12th, 1930 in Meridian.
Going-2-Die™ April 21st, 2026 at 96 years old
Thomas Briels
Belgian hockey player.
Born August 23rd, 1987 in Wilrijk.
Going-2-Die™ April 21st, 2026 at 38 years old
Albert Michant
Belgian water polo player.
Born February 11th, 1876 in Brussels-Capital Region.
Going-2-Die™ April 18th, 2026 at 150 years old
Hans Minder
Olympic wrestler.
Born August 28th, 1908.
Going-2-Die™ April 18th, 2026 at 117 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1776416352
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzY0MTYzNTIsImlkcyI6WzY5NzIyNyw0MTQ1MTcsMjYzMjU0%0ALDU4OTQ2MSwxMDI0ODVdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
A man with outward courage dares to die; a man with inner courage dares to live. Lao Tzu