Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Hugh Jackman
Australian actor and singer (born 1968).
Born October 12th, 1968 in Sydney.
Going-2-Die™ June 18th, 2026 at 57 years old
Samson Burke
Canadian professional wrestler and actor.
Born April 8th, 1929 in Montreal.
Going-2-Die™ June 18th, 2026 at 97 years old
Margaret G. Kivelson
American geophysicist, planetary scientist.
Born October 21st, 1928 in New York City.
Going-2-Die™ June 16th, 2026 at 97 years old
Wilhelm Denifl
Austrian nordic combined skier.
Born November 10th, 1980 in Rum.
Going-2-Die™ June 20th, 2026 at 45 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1781561990
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODE1NjE5OTAsImlkcyI6WzU2NjA0LDQwMjU0LDQxNjQ0NCw1%0ANTc0NzIsMTE2NTc1XX0%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODE1NjE5OTAsImlkcyI6WzU2NjA0LDQwMjU0LDQxNjQ0NCw1%0ANTc0NzIsMTE2NTc1XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
To the most trivial actions, attach the devotion and mindfulness of a hundred monks. To matters of life and death, attach a sense of humor. Zhuangzi