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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
American actress.
Born August 15th, 1990 in Indian Hills. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ May 30th, 2026 at 35 years old
Swiss microbiologist and geneticist.
Born June 3rd, 1929 in Gränichen.
Going-2-Die™ June 3rd, 2026 at 97 years old
American tennis player.
Born January 17th, 1978 in Tarzana.
Going-2-Die™ May 31st, 2026 at 48 years old
Hungarian-born austrian writer (born 1929).
Born August 24th, 1929 in Budapest. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ June 2nd, 2026 at 96 years old
Soviet middle-distance runner.
Born April 2nd, 1930 in Vorsma.
Going-2-Die™ June 2nd, 2026 at 96 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1780155237
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODAxNTUyMzcsImlkcyI6WzQzOTA1MSw0Mzg3MjEsNDM5OTM3%0ALDM0MDk2MywxNDgxNDddfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen