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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
American politician, environmental lawyer, anti-vaccine activist, and conspiracy theorist (born 1954).
Born January 17th, 1954 in Washington, D.C..
Going-2-Die™ February 18th, 2026 at 72 years old
Actress, dancer.
Born April 6th, 1919 in Hollywood.
Going-2-Die™ February 15th, 2026 at 106 years old
Finnish author and poet.
Born February 18th, 1928 in Khiytola. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ February 15th, 2026 at 97 years old
Cross-country skier.
Born May 1st, 1976 in Kramfors.
Going-2-Die™ February 18th, 2026 at 49 years old
Austrian handball player.
Born November 5th, 1910 in Austria.
Going-2-Die™ February 16th, 2026 at 115 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1771173987
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzExNzM5ODcsImlkcyI6WzQzNjgyOSw0MTcwMTgsNDU4MzUs%0ANTQwNDA3LDEyNTg0OV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
There is only one god and his name is Death, and there is only one thing we say to Death: ‘Not today’. Syrio Forel