Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Goldie Hawn
American actress.
Born November 21st, 1945 in Washington, D.C..
Going-2-Die™ June 28th, 2026 at 80 years old
José Sarney
President of brazil from 1985 to 1990.
Born April 24th, 1930 in Pinheiro.
Going-2-Die™ June 29th, 2026 at 96 years old
Casper Pedersen
Danish cyclist, born 1996.
Born March 15th, 1996 in Copenhagen. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ June 26th, 2026 at 30 years old
Arturo Kenny
Polo player.
Born December 12th, 1889 in Buenos Aires.
Going-2-Die™ June 28th, 2026 at 136 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1782461790
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODI0NjE3OTAsImlkcyI6WzM5NzIyMiw0Mzk5MzksNDY0Nzgs%0ANjI5MDk0LDYxNzA1XX0%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODI0NjE3OTAsImlkcyI6WzM5NzIyMiw0Mzk5MzksNDY0Nzgs%0ANjI5MDk0LDYxNzA1XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment. Dag Hammarskjold