Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Tulsi Gabbard
American politician.
Born April 12th, 1981 in Leloaloa.
Going-2-Die™ February 15th, 2026 at 44 years old
Tippi Hedren
American actress, model and activist.
Born January 19th, 1930 in New Ulm.
Going-2-Die™ February 15th, 2026 at 96 years old
John Kander
American musical theatre composer.
Born March 18th, 1927 in Kansas City.
Going-2-Die™ February 17th, 2026 at 98 years old
Tobias Figueiredo
Portuguese association football player.
Born February 2nd, 1994 in Sátão.
Going-2-Die™ February 15th, 2026 at 32 years old
Ilon Wikland
Estonian-swedish artist (born 1930).
Born February 5th, 1930 in Tartu.
Going-2-Die™ February 13th, 2026 at 96 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1770964681
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzA5NjQ2ODEsImlkcyI6WzQzOTc5Nyw0MjI2MiwzMzgwOCw2%0AMjEyMDAsMzQ1MjA3XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music. And death a note unsaid. Langston Hughes