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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
American businessman, investor, and philanthropist (born 1955).
Born October 28th, 1955 in Seattle. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ July 4th, 2026 at 70 years old
Soviet and russian composer.
Born November 9th, 1929 in Beketovka.
Going-2-Die™ July 1st, 2026 at 96 years old
Swedish footballer (born 1971).
Born November 10th, 1971 in Ölme.
Going-2-Die™ July 4th, 2026 at 54 years old
Japanese association football player.
Born June 9th, 1909 in Hyōgo Prefecture.
Going-2-Die™ July 3rd, 2026 at 117 years old
Japanese field hockey player.
Born August 17th, 1910 in Tokyo.
Going-2-Die™ July 2nd, 2026 at 115 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1782862577
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODI4NjI1NzcsImlkcyI6WzQzOTMxNiw0MTY3MjEsNDE1Mzk1%0ALDUyNjM0NCwxMDAzNzFdfQ%3D%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODI4NjI1NzcsImlkcyI6WzQzOTMxNiw0MTY3MjEsNDE1Mzk1%0ALDUyNjM0NCwxMDAzNzFdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Do not fear death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light. But, if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity. Laughing Bull