Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1675499104 Algorithm v0.2 Quant employee ID 410
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to. Jimi Hendrix