Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Gordon Ramsay
British chef, restaurateur, and television personality (born 1966).
Born November 8th, 1966 in Johnstone.
Going-2-Die™ November 10th, 2025 at 59 years old
Pedro Castillo
President of peru from 2021 to 2022.
Born October 19th, 1969 in Puña. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ November 11th, 2025 at 56 years old
Archbishop Dimitrios of America
Greek orthodox archbishop.
Born February 1st, 1928 in Thessaloniki.
Going-2-Die™ November 11th, 2025 at 97 years old
Tokizo Ichihashi
Japanese association football player.
Born June 9th, 1909 in Hyogo Prefecture.
Going-2-Die™ November 10th, 2025 at 116 years old
José Bustamante
Bolivian footballer (born 1921).
Born March 5th, 1922 in Bolivia. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ November 11th, 2025 at 103 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1762544893
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjI1NDQ4OTMsImlkcyI6WzQzNjY5MSw0Mjc1ODUsNDE1Mzk1%0ALDUyMDI3NywxMTMxNTJdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Our minds are too small to comprehend something as huge as death. Let it go. Maxime Lagacé