Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Margaret Qualley
American model and actress (born 1994).
Born October 23rd, 1994 in Kalispell.
Going-2-Die™ July 27th, 2026 at 31 years old
Imelda Marcos
Philippine former first lady (born 1929).
Born July 2nd, 1929 in Manila.
Going-2-Die™ July 29th, 2026 at 97 years old
Subliminal
Israeli rapper.
Born November 13th, 1979 in Tel Aviv.
Going-2-Die™ July 27th, 2026 at 46 years old
Juan Alfonso Valle
Peruvian footballer.
Born January 1st, 1905 in Peru.
Going-2-Die™ July 30th, 2026 at 121 years old
Thomas Ahrens
West german rower.
Born May 27th, 1928 in Mölln.
Going-2-Die™ July 28th, 2026 at 98 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1785131219
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODUxMzEyMTksImlkcyI6WzQyMDU4OSwzOTI0MDYsNDE4OTE1%0ALDUzNTAxNiwxMzk4NzJdfQ%3D%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODUxMzEyMTksImlkcyI6WzQyMDU4OSwzOTI0MDYsNDE4OTE1%0ALDUzNTAxNiwxMzk4NzJdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
All men think that all men are mortal but themselves. Edward Young