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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
British broadcaster and naturalist.
Born May 8th, 1926 in Isleworth.
Going-2-Die™ June 8th, 2023 at 97 years old
Born November 10th, 1989 in Birkenhead.
Going-2-Die™ June 9th, 2023 at 33 years old
American human-rights campaigner and spouse of us senator robert f. kennedy.
Born April 11th, 1928 in Chicago.
Going-2-Die™ June 9th, 2023 at 95 years old
American air force general.
Born October 13th, 1960 in United States of America.
Going-2-Die™ June 9th, 2023 at 62 years old
Born August 3rd, 1907 in León de Los Aldama.
Going-2-Die™ June 11th, 2023 at 115 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1686221060 Algorithm v0.2 Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
That’s what literature is. It’s the people who went before us, tapping out messages from the past, from beyond the grave, trying to tell us about life and death! Listen to them! Connie Willis