Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Taika Waititi
New zealand filmmaker, actor, and comedian (born 1975).
Born August 16th, 1975 in Wellington.
Going-2-Die™ July 4th, 2026 at 50 years old
James Ivory
American film director.
Born June 7th, 1928 in Berkeley.
Going-2-Die™ July 8th, 2026 at 98 years old
Harold Becker
American film director and producer.
Born September 25th, 1928 in New York City.
Going-2-Die™ July 7th, 2026 at 97 years old
Miguel Linares
Spanish footballer.
Born September 30th, 1982 in Zaragoza.
Going-2-Die™ July 6th, 2026 at 43 years old
Albert Durant
Belgian water polo player.
Born July 1st, 1892 in Brussels.
Going-2-Die™ July 4th, 2026 at 134 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1783131606
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODMxMzE2MDYsImlkcyI6WzQ2Mjk1LDM5OTM5Miw0MDA3Miw1%0ANjUzMjcsNTM4MTg2XX0%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODMxMzE2MDYsImlkcyI6WzQ2Mjk1LDM5OTM5Miw0MDA3Miw1%0ANjUzMjcsNTM4MTg2XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time. Laurie Halse Anderson