Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Ewan McGregor
Scottish actor.
Born March 31st, 1971 in Perth.
Going-2-Die™ March 24th, 2026 at 54 years old
Vera Miles
American actress.
Born August 23rd, 1929 in Boise City.
Going-2-Die™ March 26th, 2026 at 96 years old
Nihal Sarin
Indian chess player.
Born July 13th, 2004 in Thrissur.
Going-2-Die™ March 27th, 2026 at 21 years old
Mathé Altéry
French opera singer.
Born September 12th, 1927 in Paris.
Going-2-Die™ March 27th, 2026 at 98 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1774312841
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzQzMTI4NDEsImlkcyI6WzQzNjE5MCw0MjU1MjAsODUxNDgs%0ANjQxMDM3LDE0MjU1MF19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can. But life leaps over oblivion lightly, losing only a thing or two of no importance, and gloom is just a passing shadow of a cloud. Yann Martel