Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Lily James
British actress and model (born 1989).
Born April 5th, 1989 in Esher.
Going-2-Die™ June 10th, 2026 at 37 years old
Bradley Steven Perry
American actor (born 1998).
Born November 23rd, 1998 in New Jersey. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ June 12th, 2026 at 27 years old
Aleksandra Pakhmutova
Soviet and russian composer.
Born November 9th, 1929 in Beketovka.
Going-2-Die™ June 10th, 2026 at 96 years old
Lennart Carleson
Swedish mathematician.
Born March 18th, 1928 in Stockholm.
Going-2-Die™ June 11th, 2026 at 98 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1781026134
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODEwMjYxMzQsImlkcyI6WzQzOTMxNiw0ODIyMyw0MzY5MjAs%0AMTU3NzE2LDE1MjI3NV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Death is a distant rumor to the young. Andrew A. Rooney