Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Danny DeVito
American actor, comedian, director and producer.
Born November 17th, 1944 in Neptune Township.
Going-2-Die™ June 20th, 2026 at 81 years old
Biljana Plavšić
President of republika srpska (1996-1998).
Going-2-Die™ June 21st, 2026 at 95 years old
Castor Cantero
Paraguayan footballer.
Born January 12th, 1918 in San Bernardino.
Going-2-Die™ June 24th, 2026 at 108 years old
Maria Kalmykova
Russian basketball player.
Born January 14th, 1978 in Ryazan.
Going-2-Die™ June 22nd, 2026 at 48 years old
Auguste Landrieu
Belgian artistic gymnast (1888-2000).
Born April 13th, 1888 in Ronse.
Going-2-Die™ June 22nd, 2026 at 138 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1781938258
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODE5MzgyNTgsImlkcyI6WzQ0MDM2NCw0MjQyMDMsMzk1ODA2%0ALDU0NjU4Niw2MDgxOV19%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODE5MzgyNTgsImlkcyI6WzQ0MDM2NCw0MjQyMDMsMzk1ODA2%0ALDU0NjU4Niw2MDgxOV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away. Terry Pratchett