Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
David Beckham
English association football player.
Born May 2nd, 1975 in Leytonstone. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ September 1st, 2025 at 50 years old
Manoj Prabhakar
Indian cricketer.
Born April 15th, 1963 in Ghaziabad.
Going-2-Die™ August 31st, 2025 at 62 years old
John Anglin
American criminal, escapee from alcatraz.
Born May 2nd, 1930 in Miller County.
Going-2-Die™ August 31st, 2025 at 95 years old
Gary Graffman
American musician.
Born October 4th, 1928 in New York City. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ August 28th, 2025 at 96 years old
Virginia Giorgi
Gymnast.
Born February 24th, 1914 in Pavia.
Going-2-Die™ August 28th, 2025 at 111 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1756357548
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NTYzNTc1NDgsImlkcyI6WzI2MzU1OSw0MDI4Nyw0MjA1NzQs%0ANTAzODAzLDExNDg5Nl19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. J.K. Rowling