Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Justin Trudeau
23rd prime minister of canada from 2015 to 2025.
Born December 25th, 1971 in Ottawa.
Going-2-Die™ February 13th, 2026 at 54 years old
Valdas Adamkus
6th president of lithuania (born 1926).
Born November 3rd, 1926 in Kaunas.
Going-2-Die™ February 11th, 2026 at 99 years old
Thembi Kgatlana
South african female football player.
Born May 2nd, 1996 in Mohlakeng.
Going-2-Die™ February 13th, 2026 at 29 years old
Luciana Castellina
Italian politician and journalist.
Born August 9th, 1929 in Rome.
Going-2-Die™ February 10th, 2026 at 96 years old
John Rhodes
British racing driver.
Born August 18th, 1927 in Wolverhampton.
Going-2-Die™ February 9th, 2026 at 98 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1770615395
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzA2MTUzOTUsImlkcyI6WzIxNTY0Nyw0MzQ5NjksNDM5MDcw%0ALDYyOTg0MSwxMjQxMzJdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day. Emily Dickinson