Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Dwyane Wade
American former basketball player.
Born January 17th, 1982 in Chicago.
Going-2-Die™ November 20th, 2025 at 43 years old
Abby Bishop
Australian basketball player.
Born November 29th, 1988 in Booleroo Centre.
Going-2-Die™ November 20th, 2025 at 36 years old
Serge Baudo
French conductor.
Born July 16th, 1927 in Marseille.
Going-2-Die™ November 22nd, 2025 at 98 years old
Juan Arricio
Bolivian footballer.
Born December 11th, 1923 in La Paz.
Going-2-Die™ November 23rd, 2025 at 101 years old
Karl Schwegler
Swiss rower.
Born September 17th, 1902.
Going-2-Die™ November 21st, 2025 at 123 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1763567442
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjM1Njc0NDIsImlkcyI6WzQzMTA1MSw0MzU5NTYsNDA4NTcw%0ALDU5NTYxNSwzNDYyNzFdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Death never takes the wise man by surprise, he is always ready to go. Jean de La Fontaine