Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Rachel McAdams
Canadian actress (born 1978).
Born November 17th, 1978 in London.
Going-2-Die™ July 11th, 2026 at 47 years old
William Perry
American mathematician and businessman, former secretary of defense.
Born October 11th, 1927 in Vandergrift.
Going-2-Die™ July 11th, 2026 at 98 years old
Tony Warner
Trinidadian association football player.
Born May 11th, 1974 in Liverpool.
Going-2-Die™ July 12th, 2026 at 52 years old
Francisco Sosa
Paraguayan footballer.
Born October 4th, 1917 in Paraguay.
Going-2-Die™ July 11th, 2026 at 108 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1783793236
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODM3OTMyMzYsImlkcyI6WzUwOTUyLDQwNTY4Myw2ODA2OCw1%0AMTU5NjYsMTMyMzkzXX0%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODM3OTMyMzYsImlkcyI6WzUwOTUyLDQwNTY4Myw2ODA2OCw1%0AMTU5NjYsMTMyMzkzXX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving