Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Cameron Diaz
American actress and model.
Born August 30th, 1972 in San Diego.
Going-2-Die™ June 16th, 2026 at 53 years old
James Hong
American actor (born 1929).
Born February 22nd, 1929 in Minneapolis.
Going-2-Die™ June 17th, 2026 at 97 years old
Rebecca Schull
American actress.
Born February 22nd, 1929 in New York City.
Going-2-Die™ June 20th, 2026 at 97 years old
Guillermo Matías Fernández
Argentine association football player.
Born October 11th, 1991 in Santa Fe Province.
Going-2-Die™ June 19th, 2026 at 34 years old
Eugène Fraysse
French footballer.
Born August 24th, 1879 in 20th arrondissement of Paris.
Going-2-Die™ June 19th, 2026 at 146 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1781621215
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODE2MjEyMTUsImlkcyI6WzM4OTI5NCw1MjI0NSw1MjIyMyw2%0AMTA2NzIsMTQ2NzcwXX0%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODE2MjEyMTUsImlkcyI6WzM4OTI5NCw1MjI0NSw1MjIyMyw2%0AMTA2NzIsMTQ2NzcwXX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I want to be all used up when I die. George Bernard Shaw