Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Edward Snowden
American whistleblower and former nsa contractor (born 1983).
Born June 21st, 1983 in Elizabeth City. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ July 30th, 2026 at 43 years old
Teofisto Guingona Jr.
Vice president of the philippines from 2001 to 2004.
Born July 4th, 1928 in San Juan.
Going-2-Die™ July 29th, 2026 at 98 years old
Mikhail Tyurin
Russian cosmonaut.
Born March 2nd, 1960 in Kolomna. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ July 31st, 2026 at 66 years old
Robert Firth
English footballer and football manager (1887-?).
Born February 20th, 1887 in Sheldon.
Going-2-Die™ July 31st, 2026 at 139 years old
Albert Michant
Belgian water polo player.
Born February 11th, 1876 in Brussels-Capital Region.
Going-2-Die™ July 29th, 2026 at 150 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1785272115
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODUyNzIxMTUsImlkcyI6WzY1MDQzNCwxNzE2MTEsNDE5MTQx%0ALDQ3ODE0NiwxMjkwNzNdfQ%3D%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODUyNzIxMTUsImlkcyI6WzY1MDQzNCwxNzE2MTEsNDE5MTQx%0ALDQ3ODE0NiwxMjkwNzNdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Death comes to all, but great achievements build a monument which shall endure until the sun grows cold. Ralph Waldo Emerson