Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Mike Pence
Vice president of the united states from 2017 to 2021.
Born June 7th, 1959 in Columbus. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ April 30th, 2026 at 66 years old
Rosemary Harris
British actress.
Born September 19th, 1927 in Ashby.
Going-2-Die™ April 29th, 2026 at 98 years old
Jerome Isaac Friedman
American physicist.
Born March 28th, 1930 in Chicago.
Going-2-Die™ April 27th, 2026 at 96 years old
Ahmed Khalil
Tunisian association football player.
Born December 21st, 1994 in Kairouan.
Going-2-Die™ April 27th, 2026 at 31 years old
Víctor Celestino Algarañaz
Bolivian footballer.
Born April 6th, 1926 in Bolivia.
Going-2-Die™ May 1st, 2026 at 100 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1777280042
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzcyODAwNDIsImlkcyI6WzU3OTE1LDQzNDI0OSwzOTEwOSw2%0AMjQ1MDAsMTA5MzI2XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come. Rabindranath Tagore