Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Pierce Brosnan
Irish actor.
Born May 16th, 1953 in Drogheda.
Going-2-Die™ March 4th, 2026 at 72 years old
Toshiko Akiyoshi
Japanese american jazz pianist, composer, arranger, band master.
Born December 12th, 1929 in Liaoyang.
Going-2-Die™ March 6th, 2026 at 96 years old
Jerry Horton
American musician.
Born March 10th, 1975 in Dixon.
Going-2-Die™ March 4th, 2026 at 50 years old
Katsumi Tezuka
Japanese actor and baseball player.
Born August 31st, 1912 in Tokyo. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ March 3rd, 2026 at 113 years old
Paulin Lemaire
Gymnast.
Born December 18th, 1882 in Maubeuge. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ March 2nd, 2026 at 143 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1772459173
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzI0NTkxNzMsImlkcyI6WzQyMDEyLDM5MTYxOCw0MTg5NjAs%0AMTI5NDQ2LDgyNzcxXX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life. Corazon Aquino