Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Bill Murray
American actor and comedian.
Born September 21st, 1950 in Wilmette.
Going-2-Die™ July 26th, 2026 at 75 years old
William Perry
American mathematician and businessman, former secretary of defense.
Born October 11th, 1927 in Vandergrift.
Going-2-Die™ July 24th, 2026 at 98 years old
Nahum Admoni
Director of mossad.
Born November 21st, 1929 in Jerusalem.
Going-2-Die™ July 26th, 2026 at 96 years old
Alexander Prass
Austrian association football player.
Born May 26th, 2001 in Hellmonsödt.
Going-2-Die™ July 25th, 2026 at 25 years old
Alberto Aparicio
Bolivian footballer.
Born November 11th, 1923 in La Paz.
Going-2-Die™ July 25th, 2026 at 102 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1784867205
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODQ4NjcyMDUsImlkcyI6WzY4MDY4LDQxMjU1NSw0MjEwNDIs%0ANjIxNDAxLDc1NjQ4XX0%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODQ4NjcyMDUsImlkcyI6WzY4MDY4LDQxMjU1NSw0MjEwNDIs%0ANjIxNDAxLDc1NjQ4XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
You’ll drift apart, it’s true, but you’ll be out in the open, part of everything alive again. Philip Pullman