Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Joaquín Guzmán Loera
Mexican drug lord and former leader of the sinaloa cartel.
Born April 4th, 1957 in Badiraguato. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ October 25th, 2025 at 68 years old
Daína Chaviano
Cuban writer.
Born February 19th, 1957 in Havana.
Going-2-Die™ October 27th, 2025 at 68 years old
Lana Gogoberidze
Georgian film director and former member of parliament.
Born October 13th, 1928 in Tbilisi.
Going-2-Die™ October 28th, 2025 at 97 years old
Efraín Amézcua
Mexican footballer.
Born August 3rd, 1907 in León de Los Aldama.
Going-2-Die™ October 27th, 2025 at 118 years old
Georg Mischon
Swiss handball player.
Born July 28th, 1907 in Switzerland.
Going-2-Die™ October 28th, 2025 at 118 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1761328812
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjEzMjg4MTIsImlkcyI6WzQxMzM2NCw0MTM0NTIsNDM3NzUx%0ALDEwNzE2NSw0ODk3NjBdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Do not fear death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light. But, if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity. Laughing Bull