Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Jessica Chastain
American actress and producer (born 1977).
Born March 24th, 1977 in Sacramento.
Going-2-Die™ June 4th, 2026 at 49 years old
Cynthia Ozick
American writer (born 1928).
Born April 17th, 1928 in New York City.
Going-2-Die™ June 3rd, 2026 at 98 years old
Neil Harvey
Australian cricketer.
Born October 8th, 1928 in Fitzroy.
Going-2-Die™ June 4th, 2026 at 97 years old
Marcela Said
Chilean film director.
Born March 26th, 1972 in Santiago.
Going-2-Die™ June 3rd, 2026 at 54 years old
Jean Hoffman
Belgian water polo player.
Born September 23rd, 1893 in Brussels.
Going-2-Die™ June 2nd, 2026 at 132 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1780379058
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODAzNzkwNTgsImlkcyI6WzQwMDQxOCw3Mjc5Nyw0Mzc2OTEs%0ANTI3MzMxLDEyMjc5Nl19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Life without an ideal is spiritual death. Emma Goldman