Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Clint Eastwood
American actor and film director (born 1930).
Born May 31st, 1930 in San Francisco.
Going-2-Die™ July 1st, 2026 at 96 years old
Chris Martin
English singer-songwriter (born 1977).
Born March 2nd, 1977 in Exeter.
Going-2-Die™ July 2nd, 2026 at 49 years old
Lino Nessi
Paraguayan footballer.
Born September 23rd, 1905 in Paraguay. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ July 2nd, 2026 at 120 years old
Tomotaka Kitamura
Japanese association football player.
Born May 27th, 1982 in Yokkaichi.
Going-2-Die™ July 3rd, 2026 at 44 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1782819597
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODI4MTk1OTcsImlkcyI6WzQzNjkwNCw2MjcyMCw2NjMwMDIs%0ANTYzODI4LDEyMjkwMV19%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODI4MTk1OTcsImlkcyI6WzQzNjkwNCw2MjcyMCw2NjMwMDIs%0ANTYzODI4LDEyMjkwMV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. Helen Keller