Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Lewis Hamilton
British racing driver.
Born January 7th, 1985 in Stevenage. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ February 8th, 2026 at 41 years old
Mehbooba Mufti
Indian politician and former chief minister of jammu and kashmir.
Born May 22nd, 1959 in Bijbehara.
Going-2-Die™ February 4th, 2026 at 66 years old
Judith Magre
French actress.
Born November 20th, 1926 in Montier-en-Der.
Going-2-Die™ February 7th, 2026 at 99 years old
Serge Bourguignon
French film director and screenwriter.
Born September 3rd, 1928 in Maignelay-Montigny.
Going-2-Die™ February 5th, 2026 at 97 years old
Carlos Guevara
Mexican footballer.
Born April 3rd, 1930 in Puebla City.
Going-2-Die™ February 5th, 2026 at 95 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1770190559
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzAxOTA1NTksImlkcyI6WzQzNzYxMCw0Mzk5NTUsNDM1MDI3%0ALDQ5NDQ2MSwyODU3NDhdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life. Corazon Aquino