Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Nick Cannon
American rapper, actor, and comedian (born 1980).
Born October 8th, 1980 in San Diego.
Going-2-Die™ May 25th, 2026 at 45 years old
James Baker
American lawyer and statesman (born 1930).
Born April 28th, 1930 in Houston.
Going-2-Die™ May 26th, 2026 at 96 years old
Terry Moore
American actress.
Born January 7th, 1929 in Los Angeles.
Going-2-Die™ May 22nd, 2026 at 97 years old
Shigeko Kagawa
Japanese supercentenarian.
Born May 28th, 1911 in Nara Prefecture.
Going-2-Die™ May 26th, 2026 at 114 years old
Kento Yabuuchi
Japanese association football player.
Born January 21st, 1995 in Osaka Prefecture.
Going-2-Die™ May 22nd, 2026 at 31 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1779468120
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3Nzk0NjgxMjAsImlkcyI6WzcxNDgxLDI2MzQxNiw3NDM4OTgs%0ANjI0ODUyLDEzMTQyNV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
When I shall die, let it be doing that I had designed. Ovid