Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Dick Van Dyke
American actor and comedian (born 1925).
Born December 13th, 1925 in West Plains.
Going-2-Die™ July 27th, 2026 at 100 years old
Jay-Z
American rapper, record producer, and entrepreneur.
Born December 4th, 1969 in Brooklyn. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ July 27th, 2026 at 56 years old
Anne Louise Hassing
Danish actress.
Born September 17th, 1967 in Horsens.
Going-2-Die™ July 28th, 2026 at 58 years old
Laura Cardoso
Brazilian actress and former voice actress.
Born September 13th, 1927 in São Paulo.
Going-2-Die™ July 25th, 2026 at 98 years old
Kurt Rey
Swiss footballer.
Born December 10th, 1923 in Switzerland.
Going-2-Die™ July 27th, 2026 at 102 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1784911984
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODQ5MTE5ODQsImlkcyI6WzMxODcxLDQxMjc0NCw0MTc5NDAs%0ANDk2NjQwLDEyMDgzOV19%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODQ5MTE5ODQsImlkcyI6WzMxODcxLDQxMjc0NCw0MTc5NDAs%0ANDk2NjQwLDEyMDgzOV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life. Corazon Aquino