Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Chris Brown
American singer, songwriter, dancer, and actor.
Born May 5th, 1989 in Tappahannock. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ November 22nd, 2025 at 36 years old
Valérie Trierweiler
French journalist.
Born February 16th, 1965 in Angers.
Going-2-Die™ November 19th, 2025 at 60 years old
George E. Smith
Nobel prize winning american physicist.
Born May 10th, 1930 in White Plains.
Going-2-Die™ November 21st, 2025 at 95 years old
Irwin I. Shapiro
American astrophysicist.
Born October 10th, 1929 in New York City.
Going-2-Die™ November 21st, 2025 at 96 years old
Paul Perquer
Olympic sailor.
Born October 3rd, 1859 in Le Havre.
Going-2-Die™ November 22nd, 2025 at 166 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1763483398
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjM0ODMzOTgsImlkcyI6WzM3ODc3MCw2Mjg0MSw0MTgyMyw1%0AMDg1NTgsMTUyNTgxXX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them. George Eliot