Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
David Attenborough
British broadcaster and naturalist.
Born May 8th, 1926 in Isleworth.
Going-2-Die™ May 11th, 2025 at 99 years old
Taron Egerton
Welsh actor.
Born November 10th, 1989 in Birkenhead.
Going-2-Die™ May 12th, 2025 at 35 years old
Tod D. Wolters
American air force general.
Born October 13th, 1960 in United States of America.
Going-2-Die™ May 12th, 2025 at 64 years old
Efraín Amézcua
Mexican footballer.
Born August 3rd, 1907 in León de Los Aldama.
Going-2-Die™ May 14th, 2025 at 117 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1686221060
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE2ODYyMjEwNjAsImlkcyI6WzQxMzQ1Miw2MTE0NCwxNjQwNjks%0AMzE5NTg3LDEzOTAyNl19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time. Samuel Johnson