Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Kirsten Dunst
American actress and model.
Born April 30th, 1982 in Point Pleasant.
Going-2-Die™ September 18th, 2025 at 43 years old
Myriam Bru
French actress.
Born April 20th, 1930 in 4th arrondissement of Paris.
Going-2-Die™ September 21st, 2025 at 95 years old
Amnon Yariv
American electrical engineer.
Born April 13th, 1930 in Tel Aviv.
Going-2-Die™ September 17th, 2025 at 95 years old
Günther Brennecke
West german field hockey player.
Born January 13th, 1927.
Going-2-Die™ September 19th, 2025 at 98 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1758047349
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NTgwNDczNDksImlkcyI6WzU4MTUyLDQzOTk3Myw0MzUzMDIs%0ANjEzNDY4LDE0MDcxOF19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet. Emily Dickinson