Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Justin Theroux
Actor.
Born August 10th, 1971 in Washington, D.C..
Going-2-Die™ November 8th, 2025 at 54 years old
Buzz Aldrin
American astronaut.
Born January 20th, 1930 in Glen Ridge.
Going-2-Die™ November 11th, 2025 at 95 years old
Eva Schloss
Austrian concentration camp survivor.
Born May 11th, 1929 in Vienna.
Going-2-Die™ November 8th, 2025 at 96 years old
Daniele Greco
Italian athlete.
Born March 1st, 1989 in Nardò.
Going-2-Die™ November 9th, 2025 at 36 years old
Lilly Scholz
Figure skater.
Born April 18th, 1903 in Vienna.
Going-2-Die™ November 8th, 2025 at 122 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1762610773
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjI2MTA3NzMsImlkcyI6WzQwOTE0NSw0MjI0OSw0Mzg1OTIs%0ANTk2OTMxLDE1MTQzNV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I don’t want to die without any scars. Chuck Palahniuk