Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Timothée Chalamet
American actor (born 1995).
Born December 27th, 1995 in Manhattan. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ November 24th, 2025 at 29 years old
Lee Grant
American actress.
Born October 31st, 1927 in Manhattan. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ November 22nd, 2025 at 98 years old
Roland Lessing
Estonian biathlete.
Born April 14th, 1978 in Tartu.
Going-2-Die™ November 25th, 2025 at 47 years old
Joaquín Arias
Cuban footballer.
Born November 12th, 1914 in Cuba.
Going-2-Die™ November 22nd, 2025 at 111 years old
József Munk
Swimmer.
Born November 30th, 1890 in Budapest.
Going-2-Die™ November 22nd, 2025 at 134 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1763736820
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjM3MzY4MjAsImlkcyI6WzQyMTQ0MywzODYyOCwzOTc5NzQs%0ANTQ3MjkxLDE1Mjk3NF19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time… It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other. Leo Buscaglia