Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Nicolas Cage
American actor.
Born January 7th, 1964 in Long Beach.
Going-2-Die™ December 23rd, 2025 at 61 years old
Frank Morris
American criminal and prison escapee.
Born September 1st, 1926 in Washington, D.C..
Going-2-Die™ December 25th, 2025 at 99 years old
Caren Marsh Doll
Actress, dancer.
Born April 6th, 1919 in Hollywood.
Going-2-Die™ December 21st, 2025 at 106 years old
Hans Herrmann
German racing driver.
Born February 23rd, 1928 in Stuttgart.
Going-2-Die™ December 25th, 2025 at 97 years old
Julia Hickelsberger
Austrian association football player.
Born August 1st, 1999 in St. Pölten.
Going-2-Die™ December 21st, 2025 at 26 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1766326281
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjYzMjYyODEsImlkcyI6WzQzNjgyMiw0NTgzNSwyNTQzMjIs%0ANjM3Mzk2LDEyMjk4OF19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead. Albert Einstein