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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
British actor.
Born April 10th, 1980 in Yorkshire.
Going-2-Die™ February 12th, 2026 at 45 years old
American politician.
Born March 12th, 1926 in Honolulu.
Going-2-Die™ February 12th, 2026 at 99 years old
French film director and screenwriter.
Born September 3rd, 1928 in Maignelay-Montigny.
Going-2-Die™ February 13th, 2026 at 97 years old
First nigerian female professor.
Born December 5th, 1926 in Benin City. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ February 14th, 2026 at 99 years old
Estonian cyclist (born 1993).
Born September 15th, 1993 in Viljandi. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ February 15th, 2026 at 32 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1770884670
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzA4ODQ2NzAsImlkcyI6WzI1MzE0NSw0MzUwNzMsNDM3NjEw%0ALDYxOTI3MCwxNDk3NDVdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. Mark Twain