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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
American singer.
Born June 29th, 1978 in Honolulu.
Going-2-Die™ May 14th, 2026 at 47 years old
Female chinese volleyball player.
Born August 2nd, 1987 in Fuqing.
Going-2-Die™ May 12th, 2026 at 38 years old
Indonesian footballer.
Born March 21st, 1914 in Dutch East Indies.
Going-2-Die™ May 13th, 2026 at 112 years old
German footballer.
Born April 16th, 1912 in Germany.
Going-2-Die™ May 12th, 2026 at 114 years old
Egyptian weightlifter.
Born June 24th, 1916 in Tanta.
Going-2-Die™ May 15th, 2026 at 109 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1778499279
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3Nzg0OTkyNzksImlkcyI6WzQxODUyNiw0MjI4ODYsNDIwNjkw%0ALDU4OTQ5NCwxNDEzOTVdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I want to be all used up when I die. George Bernard Shaw