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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
American singer and rapper (born 1989).
Born May 5th, 1989 in Tappahannock. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ June 14th, 2026 at 37 years old
American musical theatre composer.
Born March 18th, 1927 in Kansas City.
Going-2-Die™ June 14th, 2026 at 99 years old
Swedish counter-strike player.
Born January 31st, 1992.
Going-2-Die™ June 14th, 2026 at 34 years old
American literary critic.
Born March 22nd, 1928 in Memphis.
Going-2-Die™ June 11th, 2026 at 98 years old
German cardinal.
Born February 20th, 1928 in Landau in der Pfalz.
Going-2-Die™ June 11th, 2026 at 98 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1781101830
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODExMDE4MzAsImlkcyI6WzcyNzU4LDMzODA4LDQzNjc1MCw2%0AMTQwNTMsMTUyNTgxXX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Everyone dies but not everyone lives. William Wallace