Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Ben Affleck
American film actor, director and screenwriter (born 1972).
Born August 15th, 1972 in Berkeley.
Going-2-Die™ July 6th, 2026 at 53 years old
Wallace Fard Muhammad
American islamic minister.
Born February 26th, 1877.
Going-2-Die™ July 3rd, 2026 at 149 years old
Jacqueline White
American actress (born 1922).
Born November 23rd, 1922 in Beverly Hills. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ July 2nd, 2026 at 103 years old
Gregoire Maertens
Belgian esperantist.
Born January 1st, 1924 in Bruges.
Going-2-Die™ July 2nd, 2026 at 102 years old
Daniele Laumann
Canadian rower.
Born July 8th, 1961 in Toronto.
Going-2-Die™ July 3rd, 2026 at 64 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1782986475
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODI5ODY0NzUsImlkcyI6WzQzMDk4OSw0MTMxOSw3MDEzNTMs%0AMjMzMDk3LDE0NjgxNV19%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODI5ODY0NzUsImlkcyI6WzQzMDk4OSw0MTMxOSw3MDEzNTMs%0AMjMzMDk3LDE0NjgxNV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life. Bertolt Brecht