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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
American investor, entrepreneur and businessman.
Born August 30th, 1930 in Omaha.
Going-2-Die™ July 9th, 2026 at 95 years old
American politician (born 1940).
Born March 26th, 1940 in Baltimore.
Going-2-Die™ July 6th, 2026 at 86 years old
Russian mufti and religious leader.
Born August 25th, 1959 in Pestrechinsky District.
Going-2-Die™ July 6th, 2026 at 66 years old
Alpine skier.
Born July 5th, 1930 in Radstadt.
Going-2-Die™ July 8th, 2026 at 96 years old
French athletics competitor.
Born March 22nd, 1930 in Saint-Martin-de-Fontenay.
Going-2-Die™ July 7th, 2026 at 96 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1783225687
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODMyMjU2ODcsImlkcyI6WzI2NDMwMyw0NDA0NjYsNDM5ODc5%0ALDQ5NDkzNywyODQzNDhdfQ%3D%3D%0A
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3ODMyMjU2ODcsImlkcyI6WzI2NDMwMyw0NDA0NjYsNDM5ODc5%0ALDQ5NDkzNywyODQzNDhdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. Arthur Schopenhauer